God in the Dysfunction

Genesis 45:1-15
Then Joseph could not restrain himself before all those who stood with him. He cried out, "Send out everyone away from me," and not a one stayed with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. He gave himself over to weeping in a voice that the Egyptians heard and the household of Pharaoh heard it.

Then Joseph said to his brothers, "I am Joseph. Does my father yet live?" But his brothers could not bear to answer because they were anxious in his presence. So Joseph said to his brothers, "Please come to me" and they drew near. He said, "I am Joseph, your brother, whom you sold to the Egyptians. Now, do not be grieved and don't be angry with yourselves because you sold me. Look, Elohim has sent me ahead of you for the preservation of our lives. For this famine has been in the land for two years and there are five more years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. God has sent me ahead before you to preserve a remnant for you in the earth and to preserve alive for you a great many delivered descendents. So it was not you who sent me, but Elohim. Elohim made me a respected father for Pharaoh and a superintendent over his entire house, ruling in all the land of Egypt.

"Go quickly and return to my father. Say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph, "Elohim has appointed me as superintendent over all Egypt. Come down to me and do not delay. You shall live in the land of Goshen and you will be near to me. You and your children and your children's children, as well as your flocks and herds and all that is yours. I will support you there -- for there are still five years of famine --so that you will not be dispossessed along with your house and all that is yours."

"Look, your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see, that it is my mouth that speaks to you. You must report to my father all the respect with hold among the Egyptians, and all that you have seen. Hurry and bring my father here."

Then he fell upon the neck of Benjamin his brother and Benjamin wept upon his neck. Then he kissed all his brothers and wept over them and after this the brothers spoke to him.

The world is full of imperfect reunions and broken relationships. Most of us know of persons with whom we are unreconciled and of past hurts we can’t let go of. That’s why we want to see a word of hope when we come to the story of Joseph and his brothers.

If ever there was a dysfunctional family it was that of Jacob and his twelve boys. There were two wives in the picture – Leah and Rachel – who lived in conflict and there was a daughter as well, though she, too, was at the center of violence and tragedy. But the biblical story leaves us with a central story that focuses on Jacob and his boys, and the climax of that story comes in the Genesis reading we have for today – a moment when it seems that finally this family will be reunited and reconciled, a moment when the old, destructive patterns will be left behind. But I’m just not sure that’s so.

First, a little background. Let’s go back a generation to Joseph’s father. Jacob liked to play favorites. It was natural, I suppose, since his mother and father had played favorites, too. His own father, Isaac, had shown a definite preference for his older brother, Esau, and Jacob, the younger child, had to rely on the favor of his mother, Rebecca, in order to find a place in the world. It was a recipe for conflict and at one point, after Jacob had stolen his father’s blessing, he had to run for his life as Esau, in his anger, sought to kill him.

His long exile had been fruitful. He had married…twice…and collected a large herd of cattle, possessions, and a gaggle of children – all signs of prosperity. But he continued to find conflict wherever he went. He lived uneasily with his father-in-law, Laban, and finally had to sneak out of town when he managed to trick Laban out of the best of his flocks.

He returned home and met Esau, not knowing what to expect from the brother he had wronged. But Esau met him with tears and forgiveness and Jacob was so moved that he told his brother, "Truly, to see your face is like seeing the face of God." It seemed like peace would finally come to this troubled family, but when Esau offered to accompany Jacob back home, Jacob refused and the only time that we know they met again was when they gathered to bury their father.

His parents played favorites and so did Jacob. He loved his wife, Rachel, more than Leah, a wife he was tricked into marrying. He loved Rachel’s sons, Joseph and Benjamin, more than his other children. And he loved Joseph best of all. Joseph got a special coat to wear – the fabled coat of many colors. Joseph had his father’s ear. He could do no wrong. For this his brothers hated him.

Well, for that, and for the fact that Joseph had some major character weaknesses from their perspective. He was a tattletale. He was arrogant. And he had some disturbing dreams, which would not have gotten him into trouble with the brothers if he hadn’t insisted on sharing them.
Once he was out in the fields and he said to his brothers, "Hey, guys, I had a dream. In my dream we were out binding sheaves in the field and then, all of a sudden, my sheaf stood up and all of your sheaves came and bowed down to it. That’s a funky dream, huh? What do you think that means?" The brothers didn’t appreciate Joseph’s dream.

On another occasion he was out in the fields and he said to his eleven brothers, "Hey, guys, I had a dream. In my dream the sun, the moon, and eleven stars were bowing down to me. Weird, huh? What do you think it means?" The brothers did not appreciate this dream either.

In fact, they became so upset that the next time they saw him heading towards them out in the fields they said to each other, "Oh, boy. Here comes the dreamer. Let’s get rid of him before he tells us another dream: ‘Hey, guys, I just dreamed I was riding eleven mules. What do you think it means?’" So they conspired to kill him. And they would have, too, if one of the brothers, Reuben, hadn’t intervened. Instead they stripped him of his fancy coat and threw him in a pit and when some passing slave traders arrived, they sold Joseph to them for twenty pieces of silver and went back to Jacob with the sad tale of how Joseph had been eaten by wild animals.

That’s how Joseph ended up in Egypt as a slave to a high Egyptian official. But God played favorites, too, and Joseph’s story didn’t end there. Through a series of events that included Joseph’s famous ability to dream the future, he rose to become the right-hand man of the Pharaoh himself, ruler of all Egypt. He foresaw seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine and convinced Pharaoh to prepare for what was to come. Pharaoh placed him over the project and Joseph, who dreamed as a child of being a great man held in high esteem, became just that person.

Then the famine came and it hit Egypt but also Canaan, where Joseph’s father and brothers lived. Jacob recognizes that they are starving to death and he calls in his remaining sons and says, "What are you doing just sitting around here looking at one another? There’s grain in Egypt. Go get some!" He sends them ahead but will not let them take Benjamin, the youngest son, because Benjamin is now the favorite and Jacob is still not sure he trusts his other sons. He doesn’t want anything to happen to Benjamin.

The brothers go to Egypt and they appear before Joseph, whom they don’t recognize since he is made up like a mighty Egyptian. How could they have known that the brother they had sold off to slavery would have risen so high? But Joseph recognizes them. And even though the brothers’ lives were changed forever by that day in the wilderness when they threw their brother in the pit, Joseph is still the same old Joseph. He relishes the opportunity to toy with his brothers.

First, he accuses them of being spies and demands that one of them return to Israel and bring back their youngest brother, Benjamin. He knows what torment they will have to go through, and his father will have to go through, to bring Benjamin back. Meanwhile, he says, the other brothers will have to remain in prison. Later, he changes his mind and says that only one of them had to stay in prison while the rest went back for Benjamin. Which they do, though Joseph increases their anxiety by putting the money they had brought to buy food back into their sacks.

They return with Benjamin, but still Joseph doesn’t reveal who he is. He does show his favoritism, though. At a meal he prepares for the brothers, Benjamin gets five times the food that the others receive. And when the brothers leave to go home, Joseph has one more trick for the brothers. He arranges that his silver cup be placed in one of their sacks.

Joseph sends a servant after the brothers and accuses them of theft. They deny it profusely. They say to the servant, "If anyone of us has stolen the cup that one should be cut off." The servant agrees and says, "Very well. If I find the cup in one of your bags, that one will become a slave." And the cup is found in the bag of Benjamin.

The brothers are distraught. They know they can’t go back to their father again having lost his other favorite son. Life would be unbearable. They go before Joseph and plead for Benjamin’s life. Finally Judah throws himself on Joseph’s mercy and cries, "It will kill our father if Benjamin doesn’t return with us. Take me instead, only let the youngest go."

At this, Joseph’s demeanor changes. He knows that he must tell the brothers and stop this cruel game he has been playing with them. So he sends all the Egyptians out of the room, though he begins to cry so loudly that everyone in the whole palace knows what is going on. He says to the brothers, "I am Joseph. How is my father?"

The brothers hesitate. Knowing that this high Egyptian official is Joseph doesn’t relieve their anxiety; it only increases it. Joseph thinks he knows why they hesitate, so he invites them to come closer. In a softer voice he says, "I am Joseph, your brother, whom you sold to the Egyptians."

So far Joseph has not helped them. He has only identified them by the crime that has haunted them to this moment. "Don’t be grieved," Joseph says. "Don’t be angry with yourselves because you sold me away." Joseph assumes he knows how they feel, though we haven’t seen a lot of grief and self-loathing from this crew.

Joseph goes on to interpret the situation. "God sent me ahead to preserve our lives. God sent me to preserve your future. You didn’t send me. God sent me and made me a respected man and ruler over all Egypt." Three times he repeats it – God sent me. This is not about the brothers at all. In fact, Joseph seems to deny that they had any hand in this at all. The emphasis here is on God and Joseph. Joseph is the object of God’s favor. Joseph is the one who was the focus of those dreams he shared with them in the fields so long ago. Now Joseph’s dreams have come true. His brothers have come to bow down before him.

So Joseph uses his position to give them a command, "Go and return to my father and tell him that his son, Joseph, says, ‘God has made me lord over Egypt. Come down to me and live with me, you and your children and all of your possessions. I will support you through the famine.’" The brothers will be taken care of, but primarily because of Joseph’s concern for his father.

Then Joseph takes one of the brothers in a strong embrace and the weeping begins. The brother he chooses first is not a surprise. It’s Benjamin, who weeps as well. Then Joseph turns to the brothers but the Bible does not say if they join in Joseph’s weeping.

There is reconciliation here. A dark chapter in this family’s history is beginning to be closed. But it’s an imperfect reunion. The old Joseph is still present, less scarred, it seems, than the brothers by the impact of the violence done to him. Joseph can find comfort in his dreams and visions that tell him that he stands within the realm of God’s favor. What he doesn’t offer the brothers here, and what they desperately need, is the blessing of God. What they need is the recognition that they are recipients of God’s grace, too.

What’s missing here is an affirmation of the significance of the brothers’ humanity. They are denied credit or blame for their sin and are denied the opportunity to take responsibility for their sin. They are also denied absolution and blessing, the things they need for their healing.

What I love about the stories from Genesis is their honesty. They don’t present us with perfect heroes that we should emulate. They give us very real people who make big mistakes and have big character flaws who even so find themselves a part of God’s story. In this story we see a very human attempt to get beyond a very painful moment. It’s a passing glance at reconciliation on human terms. We rejoice when we see people long estranged embracing.

When I was in Dallas recently I met with one of my former teachers, Bert Affleck, who told me about one of his first pastoral experiences with conflict. (I think he was trying to prepare me for life back in the local church!) He went through a very tense board meeting at which tensions were running high, particularly between two cousins who both served on the board. The issue was something incredibly important, like the color of the church roof, but it was causing deep pain.

Finally, a wise, older member of the board said, "I think it’s time to pray about this." So they did. For forty minutes they prayed in total silence. Finally, Bert said, he heard some shuffling and people moving and he looked up to see the two cousins at the center of the controversy standing and embracing and weeping. Those glimpses of reconciliation are transformative. They inspire the psalmist who declared in our psalm of the day, "How good and pleasant it is when we dwell together in unity."

But there are some warnings in Joseph’s story, too. We hear them when we listen for other models of reconciliation and forgiveness in the biblical witness. What we learn is that God does not merely paper over our real pains and sins so that we can go on as if nothing ever happened. In true reconciliation, God enters our lives, is incarnate in our lives, and transforms our lives. As Paul notes about the fate of Israel in the passage from Romans, God doesn’t just leave things or people behind; God meets them face to face, or, we might say, face to grace.

It’s an old-fashioned way to put things, but no less true—we are really sinners, held in the grip of the wrongs we have done and the wrongs that have been done to us. Anything that denies that aspect of our nature is demonic. But we are not passed over for all that. God refuses to leave us behind. God is taking evil intent and using it for good. Joseph was right about that. But God is also taking us sinners and restoring us to health and wholeness.

We know this because we have seen God in Jesus Christ. One of the earliest theologians in the church, Athanasius of Egypt, talked about the miracle of the incarnation this way – God became human so that we could become God. There is a deeper mystery here as well. God became human so that we could become human. We have become so distorted by the evils of this world and by the violence and God-forgetfulness of our lives that we have lost the capacity to be the human beings we were intended to be. So God came in Jesus to reconcile us to God and to reconcile us to ourselves and, in however imperfect ways we might express it in our lives, to reconcile us to one another.

This week Dick Myers and Martha McNair and I met with Carmen Colona, who is leading our Hispanic Outreach Ministry here on the Eastern Shore. She operates out of a traveling school bus that was outfitted by this church and out of a building in Wachapreague that houses her food and clothes pantry. A man who experienced deep pain in his life donated the house. A Mexican migrant on the Shore killed his daughter, Alyson. It’s a crime that we find hard to contemplate. It’s a crime that might have led to a lifetime of bitterness and hatred. If Alyson’s father had never sought reconciliation with the man who killed his daughter, who would have blamed him? If he never reached out to the migrant community, who would have thought that unusual?

But he made the attempt. He wrote to the man in prison and offered his forgiveness for what the murderer had done. And he gave the building in Wachapreague to Carmen Colona’s ministry to serve this large group of Mexican sojourners in our midst. The building is called the Alyson Jolly Casa de Esperanza – the Alyson Jolly House of Hope.

Can you tell me that reconciliation isn’t a powerful thing? Can you tell me that our stumbling, imperfect reunions don’t echo in heaven where the God who is reconciling all things to God’s own self is ever and always reaching out to us? Can you say that you don’t need the healing, the forgiveness, the love that we see, if not in Joseph’s tears, then in Jesus’ cross?

We live with imperfection and we long for something more. We see our world wounded and scarred. We see our lives imprisoned by old wounds and bad habits. We see huge chasms and rifts between us and those we would love.

But God…God sees brothers and sisters reunited, long lost children—prodigals even--returning home, orphans given new homes, and communities where all share in God’s abundance. God sees the world as it should be and as it will be and as it already is, if we will open our hearts and eyes. How good and pleasant it is when we dwell together in unity! Thanks be to God!