She heard Merle coughing violently and went back to the bedroom to check on him. She had been coughing all morning, too. Even with every washcloth and towel in the house soaked in water and stuffed into the crevices around every window and door, you could still smell the fire. Their home was untouched but the fire had managed to invade. In the worst moments on Thursday morning Hannah was sure she could feel the flames licking under the doors. Her lungs burned as if embers had lodged themselves there. She and Merle had huddled together on the bedroom floor, pulled the sheet off the bed and covered their faces - coughing, crying, and gasping into the thin fabric.
Outside, it had been dark as night except that there was this brilliant orange glow from the fire, something unearthly and infernal, something you might have called beautiful if it weren’t for the destruction it wrought. It announced its presence with an advance guard of swirling embers and a howl of hot wind rushing through the mountain passes. Soon you could hear the crack of explosions as trees yielded to the inferno, spontaneously bursting into flame and adding more fuel to the fire. When it reached the Valley Oaks Mobile Ranch the explosions became more frequent as the mobile homes groaned and then broke. Propane tanks exploded and sent shrapnel crashing through the walls of other homes.
When it was at its height, Hannah thought it was the end. She wondered why Merle had insisted on staying when everyone else was evacuating. She wondered why she had agreed. It would have been hard to get Merle out of there in his hobbled condition with his failing knee, but surely it would have been better than this. With her face buried in the sheet Hannah prayed to God that they would go quickly. She prayed for their children, Jackie, Mary Lynn, and Georgia. For their grandchildren who brought such joy to their lives. She prayed for Merle, with whom she had shared this life for 45 years from their days in Fresno through their retirement near San Diego. And she found herself thinking about her mother, who had died 25 years ago.
At one point she was speaking out loud. “O God, I know we’re just a small dot in the big scheme of things. I know you are Lord of heaven and earth and that you can use even things like this fire to show your glory. I know there’s no reason we should survive and others should die. We don’t deserve it more than any other. But God, have mercy on us. God, forgive us. God, help us. And bless our children.”
She didn’t know it, because he would never have admitted it, but Merle was praying, too. He felt intense shame that he had not forced Hannah to go when they came around to evacuate. He felt guilty about the ways that he had failed her so many times. Most of all he felt weak and helpless. He was a big man who, in his younger days, could chop wood all day and not feel it. He had driven trucks, worked in the fields, and even spent some time unloading ships on the docks in Oakland. But now his knee was crumbling and he was putting off surgery. And he hated that he had to rely on her for so much. Hated that he had to get government assistance.
So when they came around with the offer to take him out, he refused. No more help. This was his last stand. And in that dark moment on the floor of the bedroom with his wife right beside him, as always, choking to death from the smoke, he prayed, too. “God, I know I deserve this, but she doesn’t. Save this woman who has saved me so many times. Take me for my sins, but do not take her.”
Now here they were on Friday noon, once again watching the sun break through the smoke to shine on them. It was not, after all, the end. Somebody else might have said to them, “You were so lucky,” but they knew better. It was mercy, only God’s mercy, which allowed them to see this day.
Hannah sat on the bed next to Merle, who was settling down from his latest coughing spell. “Are you O.K.?”
Merle didn’t even answer. Just nodded his head. “What’s it look like out there?”
“Looks like somebody spilled a collection of black toothpicks over the surface of the moon. It’s bad. But we can still do our laundry…if they get the water back on.”
Merle smiled, something he would not have done on Wednesday. Hannah smiled back and patted him on the hand. “Want to come take a look?”
Merle shifted heavily and threw his legs off the side of the bed. Hannah got his cane and they hobbled out to the small metal porch on the front of their trailer. They leaned against the rail and stared at the ruins. The tall oaks that were the centerpiece of their community were blasted away. Smoke still filtered up from the stumps.
“This is not exactly how I envisioned our retirement, Hannah,” Merle said.
“Looks like the pool survived. That’s something.”
“Yeah, we may have to be drinking out of it…Hannah, God must be really mad at California.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, look at this. If the insurance companies are right and this is an act of God…well, I’d say God is pretty mad. And why shouldn’t he be? I mean look at what we’ve allowed to happen here. The malls are full and the churches are empty. Our movies are filth. Everybody wants to be young and beautiful and instead they’re all superficial and messed up.”
“Merle, did the Gulf Coast deserve Katrina? Did that town out in Kansas deserve to get blown away by a tornado?”
“I’m sure you could make a case.”
“Yes, you could. And yesterday when I was praying and I thought we were going to die I could think of a thousand reasons I deserved it. But don’t you feel like Shadrach today?”
"Shadrach?”
“Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego – one of Daniel’s friends who went into the fiery furnace and came out safe even though they were sentenced to death?”
“Oh, yeah. Them.”
“There’s mercy in the fire, too. And what did they tell old King Nebuchadnezzar? ‘We want to make it clear, King, that we won’t serve any god but the God of Israel.’ And after they came out of the fire, King Nebby praised God and told the whole kingdom to protect the followers of God. So, sure God’s got reason to be mad with California and with us, but I don’t think God wanted any of us to die.”
A thought crossed Merle’s mind that he hadn’t thought of since Thursday morning. He looked across the central community area to the ruins of the house that belonged to the Hernandez family. “You think some of us did die here, Hannah?”
“I’ve been praying ‘no’.”
A few minutes later they heard the sound of trucks coming around the corner. A convoy of military trucks was coming slowly up the road. A young man in full uniform wearing a white mask and thick rubber gloves got out of a Humvee and walked over to them. Another soldier started pulling rakes out of the back of a truck.
“I’m Lt. Torres with the California National Guard. Are you O.K.?”
Merle answered. “Yes, thank God, we are.”
“We were told there were several folks who didn’t evacuate. Looks like you folks had a close call.”
“We did,” Merle said. “We should have left. I should have listened. But we’re O.K.”
“I’m going to have the men bring you some water and MREs – that’s what we’re calling rations these days. I’m not sure how long it will be before they get electricity back to you. If you have a place to go, we can help you get there.”
“Thank you,” Hannah said. “Are you checking in on people who stayed?”
“Well, yes, but our main mission is…to check those houses to see if anyone was killed.” Merle could see the soldiers taking the rakes to the remains of the Hernandez house. Every so often they would lift a piece of metal or the remains of a door and look beneath it. “Fortunately, we haven’t found any bodies yet. I’m very glad to find you alive. God was looking out for you.”
“So you’re a believer?” Merle asked.
“Yes, sir, I am. I’m a lay leader at my church back in Bakersfield.”
Merle paused before he asked his question. “So, do you think we deserved these fires?”
“Deserved it?”
“Yes. Not just us, but California. The whole place.”
The soldier thought for a minute. “I’ve seen a lot of people suffer through stuff they didn’t deserve, sir. I’ve done two tours in Iraq and I saw things there that no human being should have to see or live through. I can’t believe that the God Jesus talks about would send that on anyone, whether they deserved it or not.
“But now…now suffering doesn’t impress me. That’s a given. There’s going to be suffering and it’s going to come to good and bad. What impresses me is that there’s some good. Like in the middle of all this destruction your house with you in it is still standing. Like in the middle of the forest where I was yesterday there were flowers. Everything around them black, charred, burnt up - but flowers. Like babies being born and young people trying to good. All these guys with me today – they’ve got homes and families and lives. But they’re here and it’s not just because they’ve got orders. And you should see the Red Cross tents and the tractor-trailers coming into the city. Somebody can see beyond the fires. God can.”
A soldier trotted up to the door with the water and the brown MRE bags. Then both he and the lieutenant turned to go. “Thank you for your kindness,” Hannah said. “And can I ask your first name, lieutenant Torres?”
“Joel.”
“Like the prophet.”
“Yes. Like the prophet.”
Later that afternoon Merle and Hannah gathered up some things and waited for the soldiers to return with a ride for them to leave. They had gotten in touch with their daughter, Mary Lynn, in Oceanside and were planning to spend a few days with her. While they were sitting on the porch, Hannah prayed for the search and prayed that they wouldn’t find anyone in the ashes. She pulled out her Bible and read from the prophet Joel.
She read about the plague of locusts that Joel warned the people about. How they would come and wipe out the land – destroying its crops and ruining the lives of all the people who depended on it. The locusts would come like a great army upon the people. But then, Joel said, there would be a new day of restoration. God would restore the years that the locust had taken. People would give thanks to God again and they wouldn’t feel any shame ever again.
Then something more would happen. The prophetic spirit that had fallen on Joel would fall on the people. All living things would have the gift of seeing the world as God sees it. Sons and daughters would prophesy. Young people would have visions and old people…old people like Merle and her would dream dreams. And all who called on the name of the Lord would be saved.
When the truck arrived that was to take them out to the checkpoint where Mary Lynn was waiting, Hannah looked at the house behind them and then at Merle. “I think this a new beginning for us, Merle. I don’t think God’s done with us yet.”
Merle stood up and grabbed Hannah’s hand. “Then I guess we’d better get started, Hannah.” He kissed her and they walked unsteadily to the truck.
As they were driving out they saw yellow Xs marked in spray paint on all the driveways. “What are those for?” Hannah asked.
The soldier who was driving said, “Every time we check a building we mark the place. If it’s just an X it means that no one was found there. We’ve had a good day. It’s just Xs.”
“Funny,” Hannah said. “From the right angle they look like crosses.”
Isaiah the prophet says, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba in exchange for you. Because you are precious in my sight, and honored, and I love you.” [Isaiah 43:2-4, NRSV]
Our hope is built on the visions that floods and fires cannot overwhelm. Our hope is built on a God who knows something about building things up from the ashes. Our hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness. When the bad times come, as they always do, we must know that they do not have the power to define who we are or what the world is or what it will become. What defines the world and what defines you is that God has made it, God is redeeming it, God is bringing justice, God is loving it, and God is making it new. Hold on to your hope, my brothers and sisters, because our hope is holding on to you. Thanks be to God.
Joel 2:23-32
Children of Zion – rejoice
and be joyful in Yahweh your God
for he gave you the early rains for righteousness
and he brings down upon you showers, early and late, as before.
The threshing floors will be filled with grain
and the wine vats will be overflowing with new wine and fresh oil.
Surely I will restore to you the years which the locust swarm has eaten
the devouring locust and the destructive locust and the devastating locust
the great army that I sent among you.
And you will eat continually and always be full
and you will give thanks to the name of Yahweh your God
who has worked wonders among you
and my people will not feel shame ever again.
And after this I will pour out my prophetic spirit on all living things
and your sons and daughters will prophesy
and your old men will dream dreams
your young men will see visions.
Moreover on male and female slaves in those days
I will pour out my prophetic spirit.
I will give wonders in the skies and on the land
-- blood and fire and columns of smoke.
The sun will become dark, and the moon will turn blood red
before that great and terrible day of Yahweh arrives.
But everyone who calls on the name of Yahweh will be saved,
for some on Mount Zion in Jerusalem will escape,
just as Yahweh has said.
These will be among the survivors whom Yahweh has called.